33 Tips to improve your relationships

33 Tips to improve your relationships

Dear Pinksters!

Today’s Feel Good Friday post is a celebration of my 33rd Wedding Anniversary!

The #1 question most couples get asked is: What is the secret to a long and happy marriage?

I have known several couples that have been married for a long time. I am not sure that their relationship has been a happy one. I believe in the cliché: You should marry your best friend. (Notice that I did NOT say: Marry your ‘breast friend.’) 

I did. Has it been easy? No! Have both of us been happy all the time during those years: No! However, we have done our best to implement most of the tips I am sharing with you today.

I will have to share a quote from Nicholas Cage to illustrate what I mean by this piece of advice:

If a guy only wants you Nicholas Cage

I thought I would take some time today to share my tried and mostly true tips for improving your relationships-regardless of whether you are married or not.

I am only going to use the word: Always twice during this list. The rest you are free to ‘try on’ if you feel so inclined.

  1. ALWAYS REMEMBER WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE!

  2. Be authentic.

  3. Be apologetic.

  4. Accept imperfections.

  5. Aspire to improve.

  6. Be accessible.

  7. Be attentive to the things that matter the most to your significant other.

  8. Be cheerful!

  9. Admit when you made a mistake.

  10. Be aware of your tone of voice. (Sarcastic comments don’t work when they are used all the time…)

  11. Have a sense of humor!

  12. Attend church together.

  13. Eat at least one meal/day together. (If your spouse travels, use Facetime or another form of electronic media to stay connected.)

  14. Ask questions.

  15. LISTEN!

  16. Be faithful.

  17. Be a Cheerleader!

  18. Acknowledge their positive qualities and actions.

  19. Praise each other to your friends, family members, and co-workers.

  20. Express gratitude!

  21. Have separate hobbies or interests.

  22. Go for walks or bike rides together.

  23. Be accountable to each other. (Let each other know when you arrive at your destination when you are a part.)

  24. Surprise each other with little gifts on a day that isn’t their Birthday, Anniversary, or Christmas.

  25. Mail them a card or thank you note instead of sending a text.

  26. Disconnect from your electronic devices at least once/week.

  27. SMILE!

  28. Keep each other informed of activities that you want to attend together.

  29. Volunteer to work on a project together.

  30. Express an interest in things that are important to your spouse that you might not be especially fond of.

  31. Continue to date your spouse AFTER you get married. (This could mean putting your children to bed early and watching a movie that you checked out from the library.)

  32. Revisit the place where you had your first date as often as possible. My husband and I visit the park near us at least once/year. On our first date, I dared him to walk 9 miles on the bike trail with me. I have not, nor will I ever do that again!

  33. ALWAYS start a criticism by filling in these blanks: When you________I feel_______(This will open the door to a discussion and avoid most disagreements. The other person won’t feel like they are being accused or attacked for something that they might not have been completely aware of!)

Would you like to learn how you can receive personalized coaching on ways that you can improve the important relationships in your life? If so, fill out the form on my: Work with Chris page to receive a FREE, no obligation health consultation.) Click here:

Are there any tips you would like to share that have helped you improve your own relationships? If so, please share them in the comments. Thank you!

Enjoy your day!

Chris

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Pink doesn’t have to stink

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Dear Pinksters!

Today’s post is about: Support groups. As I was waiting in the waiting room waiting to see my surgical oncologist for the first time, I got involved in a conversation with one of her patient’s who was also…waiting. 

She gave me some advice that I will always remember. She said that if I received a breast cancer diagnosis that the best thing that I could do is tell everybody I knew. There is no such thing as having ‘too much support.’ That was in November of 2011. She was right. Studies have shown that people who participate in support groups survive longer and are generally healthier emotionally. 

I am blessed to be a member of three support groups for women.

1. The Relief Society which is the largest support group for women who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

2. The breast cancer sisterhood. A few months after my diagnosis, I received an email from the nurse who assisted with the biopsies that led to my breast cancer diagnosis. At the time, I was riding an emotional roller-coaster and it was pretty close to the bottom. I ‘phoned a friend,’ a sister survivor and asked her what they would tell me at a support group that I didn’t already know. She said: It’s not what they will tell you, it is HOW they will tell you! They speak your language because they have been where you are and they understand better than your friends who have not had that experience. She was right. 

3. I became an active member of an incredible Facebook support group called: Flat and Fabulous. WE are a group of almost two thousand women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and had mastectomies. Most of us chose NOT to have reconstructive surgery. Some women had reconstructive surgery and for various reasons chose to deconstruct. Our primary purpose is to empower women to become fabulous after having so much of our iden-titty taken away.  If you would like to watch a fun video about the ‘benefits of being boob-less, check out my Toastmasters Award-Winning video by clicking here.

Thanks to support groups, pink no longer stinks! If you need help, find a support group near you, on Facebook or send me a message. You don’t have to travel this journey alone.

There are a lot of support groups for people who are sick, I would like to see more support groups created for people who want to stay well. That is one of the many reasons I am choosing to focus on disease prevention. I want the Pinkster support group to offer you easy ways to create a healthy lifestyle that will work for you!

Have you attended support groups? Have you felt supported? Please share your experience in the comments. Thank you very much AND…

Enjoy your day!

Chris

 

Rash Decisions

Rash Decisions…(This article was originally posted in Book Fun ezine January 2018 with Carol Graham on page 100.)

Can you imagine what it would feel like to be bitten by a flea? If you have had that experience, then you know how it compares to your average mosquito bite. It is very intense! At least with those itches, over-the-counter creams will give you some relief.

Can you imagine the how intense the itching of a flea bite would be if you multiplied it by 100? How about a 1,000? What if the only thing you could do to get relief would be to soak in cool bath water with Epsom salts and possibly some lavender essential oil? Can you imagine doing this at two o’clock every morning for a month or more?

What if you couldn’t tolerate anything touching your skin except for cotton? Your days of wearing yoga pants and exercising would be officially over!

How would you feel if you had to miss Birthday parties, Halloween, attending church or spending time with your family and friends? Would you feel like a prisoner in your home?

I had this experience last year. My rash journey began on September 16, 2016. The itching began at my waist and spread to eighty per cent of my body within two months. The more I itched, the more I scratched. The more I scratched, the more my rash spread. It was a vicious cycle! I felt helpless. On several occasions, I wanted to die!

A few well-meaning friends suggested that I see a doctor about my rash. I adamantly refused! Making the ‘rash decision’ to search for the cause seemed to be a more rational idea. I know from personal experience that when you find the cause of something, you also find the solution. It just takes longer. Much longer…

A very close friend mentioned that stress could be a possible cause. I started thinking about the stressful situations that I had recently experienced.

The first one was: My step-mother passed away on August 1st. After her death, I discovered that she had destroyed every memory my dad had had of everybody that had been a part of his life, except her. I was devastated! ALL of my childhood pictures and pictures taken at family reunions were gone!

The second very stressful circumstance that had occurred was that I had made an attempt to quit my dead-end day job before I had a secure income in place. I took a leap of faith. I figuratively-fell among the rocks!

The third circumstance was that I had had a major argument with a very close family member. I knew that we needed to take a time-out from each other, but it was very difficult!

Would these situations stress you out?

The five year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis was coming up. This was a major milestone! I should have been thrilled to have survived. I should have been celebrating! Instead, I was facing something far more challenging.

In December of 2011, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy-(without reconstructive surgery) for breast cancer. Since I couldn’t tolerate anything touching my skin, I can count it as a blessing that I no longer had to wear a bra or deal with boob sweat anymore…

I was afraid to eat anything for fear that it would make my rash worse or give me a migraine. The good news: I lost ten pounds within six weeks. (The ten pounds that I had been trying to lose for a few years. The ten pounds that people told me I would never lose because I was past the age of fifty. The ten pounds…)

It was at this point that I began to realize that my emotions might be triggering some of the itching. Avoiding my ‘normal trigger foods’ seemed to help a little bit too. I put the following quote on my refrigerator door: Nothing tastes as good as not itching feels!

Prayer and meditation also took the edge off.

The week before Thanksgiving, I finally found relief to the incessant itching in the form of a webinar series about auto-immune diseases and digestive issues.

I believe there was a series of seven webinars on seven separate days. As soon as I finished watching the webinar on the third day, I was feeling hopeful that I had found the solution. The solution that would finally put an end to the constant itching!

As soon as my husband came home from work, I made the ‘rash decision’ to go shopping…alone. When I came home, I began cooking the foods that I was very hopeful would put an end to the itching. Within a few days, the itching started to subside for an hour or so. When my skin did itch, it wasn’t as bad.

Thanksgiving was quickly approaching. All three of our sons would be home. I really wanted to join the fun with my family and extended family. I had to create a plan…

On Thanksgiving morning, one of my sons and his wife arrived about an hour before we had to leave. I asked him to give me a Priesthood blessing. I knew that I would need the comfort and reassurance that this blessing would bring.

I had made our traditional sweet rolls for dinner. I brought cabbage soup for me. (Will it come as a surprise to you to know that nobody wanted any of my cabbage soup?) I was able to eat a lot of turkey and a small slice of chocolate pie.

My itching was kept to a minimum and didn’t start until we were almost home. I was very thankful that I did not make the ‘rash decision’ to stay home. I was very thankful that I was able to enjoy the holiday with my family.

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Fast forward to New Year’s Eve. I had been doing a pretty good job following ‘my diet’ and managing my emotions. I felt like I deserved a treat.

When I made the ‘rash decision’ to visit my favorite donut shop: Spud Nuts, (donuts made out of potato bread,) my husband thought I was crazy, but I insisted. When I finished eating and savoring every delicious bite of my chocolate vanilla cream Spud Nut, the realization came over me that…

Good news! God loves me! My rash did not get worse and I did not experience any other negative side effects from it.

Better news! The rash that had previously covered eighty per cent of my body was down to less than ten per cent. It took less time to heal the rash than it did for it to spread. As an added bonus: I also lost a total of twenty-two pounds! I was back to my goal weight. A weight that I had not seen for at least ten years!

The best news of all came in the form of an unexpected answer to one of my prayers. I had been wanting to go back to school and change careers. I was in the early stages of doing that research when my rash broke out.

When I discovered that I could help my body heal itself by making dietary and lifestyle changes, I was convinced that I had found the perfect opportunity. A close friend of mine encouraged me to attend a school that teaches that concept.

Within a very short period of time, I discovered that one of the doctors in the webinar series that I had watched in November was a guest lecturer in the school that I had made the ‘rash decision’ to attend.

I know that we can not gain a testimony of God’s purpose for us until we pass the tests that He has given us. In the Bible, Romans 8:28 (KJV), it says: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

We read in The Book of Mormon, Ether 12:6: I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

I am now very much on my way to becoming an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Becoming a health coach will give me the perfect opportunity to help people save money on the cost of their health care and help them learn how to heal their own bodies by making dietary and lifestyle changes that will work for them.

Thankfully, choosing to attend this school is not proving to have been a very ‘rash decision!’

If you would like to choose a FREE one hour consultation, I promise you won’t be making a ‘rash decision’ to see how I can help you heal your body too! Click here.

Feel Good Friday! What Determines Your Identity?

Dear Sisters!

Happy Good Friday! Welcome to Spring!

You may recall that I have four purposes for creating this blog. They are: Passion! Since I made the decision to become a health coach, (I have changed that purpose-just a little bit.) Identity! Natural! Keeping it simple!

Identity is still a very important part of my purpose and your purpose for living.

Today I am going to talk about: Identity!

What determines your identity?

Is your identity determined by the number of friends that you have on Social Media or the one friend that you can call when you are in need?

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Is your identity determined by the growth of the money in your bank account? Or the growth of your confidence and skills? 

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Is your identity determined by the number of hours you work every day? Or the number of people whose lives you touch in some small, way?

Is your identity determined by the size of your bra? Or the size of your heart?

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With this Good Friday post, I believe that the most important thing that determines our identity is the fact that our our Savior, created us in His own image. I believe that ALL of us are His children. I love the hymn that our Primary children sing: I am a Child of God. To listen to it, click here.

I believe that God created the earth and everything in it for our good and benefit. The tree’s, the flower’s and the weed’s.

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There is a hymn titled: God Loved Us So He Sent His Son. To listen to it, click here.  I pray that we will remember Him and the price He paid for us during this beautiful Easter weekend and all year long.

Although today is no longer Easter, but late July, I believe these messages are still relevant. Do you? If so, please share your thoughts in the comments.

Enjoy your day!

Chris

P.S. If you would like to have some fun, watch my Top 10 list on the subject of what I believe definitely does NOT determine our identity…

 

 

 

Desire or Fear-YOU Decide! What are you afraid of?

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Dear Sisters,

Twice/year most people get motivated to make changes in their lives. At the beginning of the year, some of us get excited to make some changes in our lives. These changes usually involve making New Year’s Resolution to improve our diet by eating healthier and exercising. Some of might even be tempted to make resolutions that will help us improve our income-perhaps we have considered starting our own business and dreamed about firing our boss…

The second time we get motivated is in the Spring. As the snow begin’s to melt, the flowers start to grow and we see color again for the first time in several months. We start planning our vacation’s. Perhaps go on vacation during Spring break with our family. We might even be tempted to renew our New Year’s Resolutions so we can fit into last year’s bathing suit or go shopping for a new one…

Does this sound like you? If so, what is stopping you? I have one idea. The #1 thing that stop’s most people from taking action is…FEAR! What are we afraid of? Failure? The unknown? What other people will think of us? Are we afraid that we just might succeed?

ACTION is the antidote to fear! Is your DESIRE to succeed stronger than your fear of failure? To find some inspiration to help you decide, click here.

There are 3 things most successful people have: Passion! Consistency! Strategy!

Do you have them? Do you know where to go to get them? Are your DESIRE’s stronger than your FEAR’S?

What is the worst thing that could happen? You just might aim for the moon and land among the stars!

What are your desires? What will motivate you to take action and start living the life of your dreams? What will give you courage to take…ACTION?

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Please share them in the comments below!

Enjoy your day!

Chris

Nothing to Hide!

Good afternoon dear sisters!

I know it has been awhile since I posted, but I had to share a few of my ‘reflections’ as I am fast approaching my 5 year ‘cancerversary.’

My journey with breast cancer began on October 19, 2011. I was 47 years young. All I can say is…TIME FLIES!

Everybody kept telling me that they couldn’t imagine what it was like to be diagnosed with breast cancer. The truth is NOBODY CAN unless they or one of their loved ones hears those words: You have breast cancer! If you would like to read the rest of my story, click here.

Fast forward to today: After taking a drug for 19 months to prevent recurrence, (that made my life miserable and believing that NOBODY ever received a breast cancer diagnosis because they DIDN’T HAVE enough prescription drugs in their bodies), I did my homework and researched alternative remedies. Within a few months of adding a few supplements to my daily routine and modifying my diet…for the most part), my health improved by 50%! 

I believed I could do better and began my journey to investigating essential oils. (I have another blog post that shares those details…) I FOUND MY MISSING PUZZLE PIECE!

Within a few months, my physical health improved by 90%! I began teaching classes in my home and to a few friends that live close by. A few of them are beginning their journey towards physical AND financial healing! 

In an effort to spread the word about my passion, I have created a video that shows you that I have NOTHING TO HIDE, Young Living has NOTHING TO HIDE and HOW I teach a Young Living Everyday Oils class. Check out the video here!

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If you would like more information, send me an email with your phone # and the best time for me to contact you to: dearsisterchris@gmail.com

Thank you very much AND

ENJOY YOUR DAY!

Chris

Tip of the Day Tuesday: Stop Procrastinating!

Dear Sisters,

As I was Pondering what tip I could share today, I visited my favorite Place to meditate: The treadmill. We are old friends and at one time, my commitment to exercising regularly helped me lose 35 pounds in 9 months. I even succeeded in keeping it off for a few years-by Keeping up with my ‘regular visits.’ 

What does this have to do with the subject of: Stop Procrastinating? 

One of the primary purposes that I created this website was to help YOU become: Proactive in Preventing disease and Improve your over-all health and well-being. 

Most people (including myself) ARE lazy! We are searching for a ‘magic Pill’ that will help us stay healthy and not encounter any diseases that could end our lives Pre-maturely.

Doctors no long claim that chemo and radiation will cure the disease. They do say that if their patients survive for 5 years-that they are cured. I have read and heard too many stories about and from people who were pronounced: No evidence of disease when they completed cancer treatments and had survived for at least 5 years only to experience a recurrence shortly after they ‘thought they were cured.’

My theory AND opinion is that the treatments did NOT cure the disease. More than likely, the patients that were involved changed their life-style and once they experienced the 5 year mark, they returned to the habits that caused their disease to happen in the first place. 

I thought I was doing pretty well for a few years after my breast cancer diagnosis. Most of my alternative remedies were working, BUT I was still experiencing a ‘few Negative’ and lingering side-effects from ‘the Pill’ that I took to Prevent recurrence. 

I was Introduced to essential oils by a dear sister three and a half years ago. I thought they were expensive and that I could not afford them. I suffered for three years BEFORE I became Pro-active and started researching essential oils and their benefits. 

They have Improved my over-all health and well-being in a reasonably short period of time. They are Inexpensive when you factor in the fact that they have multiple uses: 

The essential oil that I flavor my water with, (I have been drinking A LOT more water because it tastes Incredible!),  I also use as a toner on my face. No harsh chemicals and it works BETTER than the brand I have been using for several years.

The essential oil that I use in coconut oil as a moisturizer has been around for thousands of years and was one of the gifts given to the baby Jesus. I feel confident that it is Improving my quality of life. 

The essential oil that I use as a pain-reliever, I also use to clean and disinfect my counter-tops. It is also the primary ingredient in the cleaning products from Young Living.

The same oil that purifies the air in my home, I also use to help me relax and manage my stress and Improve my well-being.

Magic pills do NOT exist and will NOT improve your quality of life in the long-run. 

When we Stop Procrastinating and do the things we need to do: Keep eating a plant-based diet, exercise, manage our stress and add a few alternative remedies, like essential oils will our health and well-being: Improve!

For those of you who are looking to save money and would like to try essential oils, Young Living is offering a 10% discount until: Thursday, June 30th. 

10% off YL Essential oils through June 30 2016

                                To get yours today: go to:  http://tinyurl.com/h9gk3yh

STOP PROCRASTINATING and perhaps, you will discover the same ‘missing Puzzle Piece’ that did to help you Improve your quality of life.

Enjoy your day!

Chris